|Voiced by||Trey Parker|
|First Appearance||The Damned|
Bullied for years as a "midget" and a "fag", because his mother was a little person and his father a giant, Dick was born relatively normal. His desire to lash out at the world who and push buttons to stir up those who had once wronged him, lead Dick to becoming a notorious internet troll, "Dildo Schwaggins" and to become a frequent visitor at PussyStormers, where he came into contact with his idol, a troll named Skankhunt42.
He discovered Skankhunt's identity and sought his help, bringing together a band of internet trolls from across Colorado with an aim to stop the Danish from exposing their online identities, and becoming their leader alongside Gerald. When their efforts succeeded, their friendship ended as Dildo realized Gerald did not share his ideals. Dildo was soon recruited by Hillary Clinton to expose and destroy the TrollTrace servers... but was instead handed over to Lennart Bedrager due to his association with his former friend.
- "I know who you are."
Dildo has never had much of a social life, and was bullied in school, so he primarily associates with other internet trolls around Colorado to defend their means of existence, though he takes a leading role.
Dildo came to idolize and worship Skankhunt42, whom he believed was the greatest troll in the world, admiring his family and the way he photoshopped dicks in people's mouths. They knew each other on PussyStormers before Dildo discovered his identity and drew him out of hiding to seek his help. When Gerald harshly rejected Dildo's desire to remain friends after their goals were accomplished, he realized the harsh reality Gerald was far shallower than he ever believed.
When the Danish seek to eradicate trolls, it is Dildo who takes it upon himself to band together the trolls of Colorado to work together against the Danish effort.
Dildo is one of the many notorious internet trolls from Colorado who team up to stop the Danish from exposing their online double lives.
- Skank Hunt (s20e02; referenced)
- The Damned (s20e03; debut)
- Weiners Out (s20e04)
- Douche and a Danish (s20e05)
- Fort Collins (s20e06)
- Aw, Jeez (s20e07)
- Members Only (s20e08)
- He introduces himself as Dick, aka Dildo Schwaggins, in "The Damned", and a few episodes later his name shows up on Skype as Dick Slapperman. We're not sure if that's his real surname or not.
Pop Culture References
- The username Dildo Schwaggins is a reference to Bilbo Baggins, a lead character in the novel The Hobbit and a supporting character in The Lord of the Rings films.
- His shirt is a reference to the infamous 'Three Wolf Moon' shirt on Amazon, and he carries it further by referencing him and Gerald as 'lone wolves' in the song he writes for them.